Only the Strongest Live and Love
by K.C. Cachet
Summary: The Inquisitor's only way of stopping the breach is to find the girl who has the mark. But could this also reopen old wounds that even the legendary Inquisitor can't close again? Throughout their adventures, we will find out who Mark chooses to be with.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N**_

_**This is an Inquisition fan fiction. However, I put the Inquisitor and the person with the mark on her hand as two different people. It just worked out that way in my head, and I liked where it went. Clearly I changed a lot of the details, but that's why it's my fan fiction.**_

_**Anyhow, I hope you like it! And please feel free to review and message me! Enjoy **__**J**_

**Prologue:**

"Mark, please don't let them take me!" Karla screamed for dear life. Men had come for her, but she didn't know why.

He reached for her, he tried so hard to get a hold of her hand one last time. "Let her go! You have no right!" There was no use he couldn't fight them; he couldn't save her. "I will find you, Karla; I swear it!" As her screams got farther away, he could've sworn that he saw something glowing in the distance by Karla. Then, everything went black.

**Chapter 1: 2 years later**

"Inquisitor, the people are rioting; they want your head." Mark's advisor, Josephine said to him.

He sat down on his throne in the Skyhold castle. "What is it now, Josephine? What can they possibly have to complain about?" This had been going on for months. The demon invasion was getting worse each day. The Inquisition was doing it's best to protect the people but there is only so much that could be done. More and more rifts were opening in the sky.

"The demons are venturing closer and there's not a damn thing we can do to delay it anymore than we already have. _That _is what the people have to complain about Inquisitor! We offer them protection and now we cannot even keep our promises," Cullen, one of the other advisors said angrily.

A woman stood beside Mark's throne. "Perhaps you and I should retire to the bedroom, and let all of this escape your mind."

Mark grabbed her hand and smiled kindly at her. "Not now, Harriett. Cullen is right. We need to find a solution for this. People will keep dying unless we something."

"But there's nothing more you _can _do," Harriett pouted. "So, shall we go to bed, darling?"

Josephine rolled her eyes at the immature girl. It was nearly impossible to talk to the leader with her always creeping up to his side. "Forgive me, Inquisitor, but I'm not sure what else we can do to protect them. We have sent all of the soldiers we could afford to protect the cities and farms. We have attempted to make alliances, but no other countries want to focus on Ferelden; they are focusing on themselves."

Mark looked across the giant room at the wooden door. "So, there is no hope then?"

"I wouldn't say that quite yet." Leliana emerged from the war room with a piece of paper in her hand. "It appears we may have a chance of ending this after all, if what my source says is true." She handed the piece of paper to the Inquisitor and smiled.

He looked at it carefully.

_My Dearest, Leliana_

_I am writing to you despite my master's orders.  
>I understand your quest to stop the breach, though<br>before I may have seen it as an impossible hope, I  
>no longer think that is so.<br>I have heard reports of a girl with a mark on her  
>hand that can close the smaller rifts in the sky<br>permanently. You can find her in the Hinterlands.  
>Do with this what you must.<em>

_Sincerely,  
>Agent X<em>

"Could this possibly be true? A woman who can stop the rifts?" Mark handed the letter to Josephine.

"There is only one way to find out." She started for the stairs. "I will make arrangements while you head for the Hinterlands. We mustn't miss out on this."

Josephine nodded her head. "Chances are if we know about this, there will be others that will be after her as well. We need to get to her first."

Mark stood up from his throne and walked towards the front door. "I will bring Solus, Bull, and Varric. We leave now."

"Darling, couldn't you wait until morning at least?" Harriett grabbed a hold of his arm seductively. "I've been looking forward to tonight all day." She swirled her finger over his muscular bicep.

He gently pushed her away. "We are talking about the fate of the world. I mustn't delay this. I will see you when I get back." He gave her a peck on the lips and walked away from her.

* * *

><p>"Do we have to keep going, boss? Can't we take a small break? We've been searching for the girl for hours." The qunari had his shoulders slumped and his feet dragging on the ground. They had been searching all through the night, and the sunlight had finally come out.<p>

"I would have to agree with him. My legs are a little smaller than yours, and I don't how much longer I will be able to keep up," Varric complained.

Mark stared into the distance and saw a small figure moving. "Wait, that might be her."

Varric sighed. "Could we be sure this time? I think we freak the women out when we run up to them saying, 'show me your hand!' It tends to sound kind of creepy."

They were closer to the girl now and could see that her back was turned to them. She was wearing all black and had small scars on the back of her shoulders that were almost covered by her red hair. She was wielding two blades that looked to be of fine metal.

Suddenly, she went still and stood straight. "Haven't you ever heard that it's rude to stare at someone?" She slowly turned around.

Mark froze immediately. "How is that possible?!"

The girl laughed to hide her own shock. "Well, of all the things I expected to see today, you were last on my list."

"Karla? Is that you?"


	2. Chapter 2: The Reunion

The girl looked at him sharply. "I fear I have no recollection of who you may be talking about." She needed to lie to the others. They shouldn't know about her and their leader's history, and in truth the girl he once knew as Karla was long gone now. So much had happened, so much hurt painted her soul and changed her into someone else. Someone stronger. "My name is Arianna Caudell, and I am the one your inquisition needs. Aside from that, there is nothing more you need to know." She kept on the Inquisitor's face as she said it.

Varric smiled. "I am sensing a good story coming from you." He pet the top of his crossbow, Bianca, as he thought for a moment. "What exactly were you expecting the Inquisitor to look like, if I may ask?"

Arianna shrugged. "Oh, I don't know, a horned giant with sharp teeth." She looked over to one of the other companions who was a qunari.

"If you have something to say to me, you might as well say it," Iron Bull's deep voice rumbled.

The beautiful girl gave a laugh that stunned Mark from even moving. "What is with you qunari and your anger issues? Hasn't anyone ever told you that it gets tiresome." She walked closer to the three of them and noticed a thin elf standing in the corner of her eye. "Why is it that you have not said anything, elf?"

Solas glared at her as he walked around the other three. "I can't think of anything I'd need to say, _shem._" He practically spat at the name he called her.

"I meant no disrespect, I apologize if I have done something to offend you." Arianna looked deeply into Mark's eyes as she took off her glove and revealed the odd formation on her hand. "This is the mark that you all seek. It activates when I'm being attacked or if there are demons around. I don't know how I even got it; I don't remember." She put her glove back on her hand. "We should get going. You were not the first ones who came looking for me, and you won't be the last."

~o0o~

"Inquisitor, you've returned, and with the mark I hope," Leliana greeted them.

Arianna rolled her eyes. "Do you people forget there are names in this world? Because I have one and mine is not 'the mark'. My name is Arianna." She looked the other redhead up and down. "Wait, I know of you. You are Leliana. You were with Queen Elissa when she took down the archdemon. I've always wanted to meet her, she's kind of an idol of mine." She finally remembered her manners and bowed. "It's an honor, my lady."

Leliana let out a small chuckle. "Well, aren't you a charming one and quite pretty too." She looked to the other advisors. "I think she will do quite good here. Though, I shouldn't say such things. I could never jeopardize the mission by being distracted. I will have to be careful around this one. And you my call me Leliana. I have done things that definitely do not categorize me as a lady."

"Leliana, you say too much. You might scare the ma… I mean Arianna away," Josephine said.

Cullen grabbed Arianna's hand and shook it almost too gently. "We are grateful to have you with us, and I - we look forward to working with you," he said as Mark rolled his eyes.

Arianna looked at him with concern. "Are you sweating?" She looked closer at his face. "Wait, you are Commander Cullen! You were there at the Ferelden Circle when a bunch of abominations broke loose! You also met the Champion of Kirkwall with the mage and templar war." She couldn't get control her excitement as she wrapped her arms around the former templar in a tight hug.

Cullen's face burned a bright red as he lightly pushed her away. "F-f-forgive me, my lady. You surprised me. I um … I should go to my quarters. P-p-pardon me." The templar practically ran away with his hands in between his legs.

"Wow, I'm guessing he doesn't get out much." Arianna turned around to look at the rest of them who were all laughing except for Mark.

"What I would rather know, is why I didn't get a hug like that? It seemed rather nice," Leliana said.

"All right. I'm going to show the anchor where her quarters will be, excuse us." Mark grabbed Arianna's arm roughly and dragged her up the stairs.

She tried to shrug away from him, but she couldn't. "You of all people, Mark, should know that I hate being dragged away."

**_"Mark, please don't let them take me!" _**He could hear her voice like it was yesterday she was ripped away from him. _**"I will find you, Karla; I swear it!"** _He remembered the pain he had felt for so long after that, the pain that never went away. He could see her tears falling down her face as they dragged her away. He let go of her arm once they got to her bedroom. "How dare you compare me to them!"

Arianna stared at him and for a moment, she could still see that boy that she had fallen in love. Now, he was a man hardened by pain and loss, much like she was. "That day will forever be burned into my mind, Mark. I will never forget them holding you back. I thought they had killed you once you were out of my sight. All of this time, I thought you were dead. I killed every one of those men for taking you away from me!"

He didn't know what to do or what to say, but he grabbed her and hugged her so tightly that she almost couldn't breathe. "Two years." He lightly smelled her hair. She smelled so good, but it was a foreign smell to him. "Every night I had nightmares about you screaming for my help and I could do nothing to save you. I thought you were dead too." He could feel tears coming on, but he refused to let her see him cry. "What happened to you?"

She pushed away from him. "I found out a few weeks after they took me that they were after the mark on my hand. They wanted to keep me a secret from the world because I was too valuable. I made a friend there … but he is no longer alive."

He could clearly see the pain in her face when she spoke about her friend. "Were you hurt? What happened to your friend?"

**"_No, Gerith, I won't leave here without you!" _**Arianna closed her eyes tightly. _**"You don't have a choice, my heart.** **But, please, kill me before they get to me." She could see that the guards finally noticed them. "You can't ask me to do that, Gerith." She clutched at the bars separating them. "I'm begging you, they will torture me. Just know that I love you and regardless of what happens or what you do, I will never stop loving you."**_ "Things that I have no desire to talk about. Things that changed me. That is why I changed my name. I was no longer the same person, and it was time to stop pretending like I was."

Mark grabbed her hand. "I should've found some way to save you. I should've done everything in my power."

She couldn't help it, she felt so much for him still, and his face was so close to hers. She leaned in closer.

He wanted to do it. He wanted to kiss her so badly. After all of this time, he wanted to feel every inch of her body pressed against his. It almost killed him to pull away before her lips could meet his. "I am sorry. I have thought you were dead for two years, and I needed to move on. I've … been seeing someone for a couple months now. It wouldn't be fair to her."

Arianna smiled, but there wasn't any happiness in it. "Of course. I understand. I will not try to take something that is no longer mine."


	3. Chapter 3: To Make One Understand

Mark left Arianna's room and was trying to make his way to his own bedroom. He felt so stupid. He had finally gotten her back after years of being miserable without her and he refused to kiss her. It just didn't seem right to go behind someone's back like that. Thoughts flowed through his mind. Should he leave Harriett? Would it be wrong to just go back to Arianna now?

"Inquisitor, may I have a word?" Leliana suddenly was walking next to him and was speaking in a hushed tone. "I noticed the way you looked at the mark. She is a very beautiful woman, but something tells me there is more to it than you find her attractive."

Mark stopped and turned towards Leliana. "I don't know what you mean. I know nothing about the woman." Which wasn't necessarily a lie, he didn't really know who she was anymore.

There was obvious disbelief in Leliana's eyes. "Well, regardless if you know her or not. Be careful with your feelings, Inquisitor. It might not be wise to fall for someone with her power."

"What do you mean?" He was curious now.

She sighed. "All I'm saying is that we don't know what that mark of hers will require her to do. She could possibly die in the process." She put her hand on his shoulder. "You need to be able to accept that."

Mark was speechless. He hadn't even thought that she could possibly die and be taken away from him again. "Of course. Like I said, I have no idea who she is."

Leliana looked down, disappointed at his answer. "Very well, I just thought I would run that across." She looked in the direction of his quarters. "Harriett wanted me to tell you that she is waiting in there for you. She seemed quite distressed."

Mark nodded to her and walked away. Harriett had never warned him that she would be in his quarters. Could she have possibly gotten word that Arianna was actually Karla? However, she wouldn't have seen Arianna yet, and that's the only way she would know. He entered his room and saw Harriett sitting on the bed cross-legged.

"Hello, Mark," she said quietly to him. She was acting awkwardly towards him.

Mark took off his jacket and threw it on a nearby chair. "What is on you mind? You are acting strange." He put his hand on the side of her face and gave her a gentle peck on the lips.

"I know that I haven't made things easy for you here. You are the only person in Skyhold that I knew before any of this happened." She looked away from him in humiliation. "I've been so scared that I would lose you, and it's made me so stupid." She grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the bed. "You are doing great things here. Five years ago, I would've never pictured you being a leader of thousands of people. You are a remarkable man, and I've cherished being your friend all of these years."

Mark put his hand over her mouth. "Why are you saying all of these things, Harriett?"

She pushed his hand away and smiled, but it was a sad smile. "When you started seeing Karla, you completely changed. You were less arrogant and obnoxious; you became a respectful person who would do anything for the people you care about. Karla made you into who you are today, and after her death you were miserable." She intertwined her fingers with his. "It was a very intimidating thought when I started seeing you. I wanted to do everything I could to keep you interested in me."

Mark wrapped his arms around her tightly. "You silly girl, I started seeing you because I care about you. You are one of the most interesting people I've met. We've been friends for years."

She let out a small chuckle as a couple of tears fell down her face. "I know, it was stupid of me to try and make it a competition. I know Karla is gone, but I just keep thinking she is going to swoop in here and take you away."

Mark pulled away from her and cleared his throat. "Yes, well, speaking of Karla …" He awkwardly fidgeted with his hands. "As it turns out, she was the woman with the mark on her hand. I was extremely surprised of course when I saw her, but she goes by Arianna now. She's a lot meaner than she used to be." He was rambling.

Harriett paused and then burst out laughing. "Why do you do things like that? I tell you my fear and then you make a joke out of it."

Mark grabbed Harriett by the shoulders and stared into her eyes. "I'm telling the truth. Karla didn't die, she got captured by people who wanted the mark on her hand. She escaped and is now living here."

Harriett's mouth fell open and she turned away from him. "Oh, you are completely serious. I, uh-um, wow. Is she alright?'

"She's been through a lot and it's hardened her. She is not the same sweet, innocent girl she once was."

Harriett couldn't look at him, she was so scared of what he would say next.

"Hey." He turned her face towards his. "I am with you now. Karla, or Arianna, is not going to change that. I obviously care about her still, but I wouldn't hurt you like that."

Harriett scoffed. "You wouldn't hurt me because you think it's wrong, or you wouldn't hurt me because you actually want to be with me over her. I've never had an issue with Karla, Mark, but you cannot tell me you don't still love her. I want you to be with me because I am the one that you love more than anyone else." When he didn't respond, she got off his bed. "That is answer enough. I will find somewhere else to sleep from now on."

He grabbed her hand and pulled her onto his lap. "I want to be with you, and only you." He started to kiss the side of her neck.

"Mark, I don -" She couldn't concentrate with his lips on her skin.

He brushed his fingers down her back, giving her chills. "Stay with me tonight." He moved his lips to hers as he unbuttoned her blouse.


	4. Chapter 4: You Have Got to be Kidding Me

**A/N: I've had a lot of time to write today, and I like where this is going. Please review and let me know if you think I should change something or if you just feel like it. I won't get offended. I love people's opinions on making my writing better.**

Chapter 4:

"_Shut up, foolish girl. This is your home now." The man threw Karla to the floor. "You should get comfy while you can. Tomorrow, your training starts."_

"_Training?" She tried to wipe the tears from her eyes, but they kept pouring out. "Please, just tell me what you did to the boy I was with; that's all I want."_

_The man grabbed the collar of Karla's shirt and lifted her on her feet. "You need to understand something, little girl. You listen to what we tell you to do." His hand swung out against her face, and she fell from the blow. He crouched down beside her. "That means we can do whatever we damn well please with you." His hands grabbed her shirt once again as he tore it right down the middle, exposing her breastband. The men laughed and left her alone in her quarters. _

_More tears flowed from her eyes as she broke out into a sob. "Mark, please, come save me. Don't' leave me here alone," she cried out._

Arianna gasped as she woke up. There were beads of sweat everywhere on her body. She could see a dark figure leaning against her wall. She slowly reached for her dagger, but her fingers grasped at nothing.

"Are you looking for this?" a masculine voice said. The figure stepped into the little light the moon was letting into her room.

She squinted her eyes to get a better look at the person in her quarters, and then sighed in relief to see the familiarity of the man standing there. "Ah, Commander Cullen, what an interesting surprise." She pushed herself into a sitting position and wrapped the blanker tighter around her. She was in her smallclothes after all.

"I'm sorry if I frightened you. I heard you yelling, and I came to check on you, I thought it would be wise to wake you." He twirled the dagger in his hand. "I also didn't want you seeing me and decide to kill me."

Arianna smiled at him. "Well, I appreciate the concern, Commander. I must say, after yesterday, I wouldn't have thought you would have had the nerve to come speak to me."

Cullen chuckled. "Yes, about that, I would like to apologize. It has been a while since I have … released any sexual tension and you are quite a beautiful woman."

"Forgive me if I don't blush and fall to your feet, Commander. I have gotten that compliment enough that it doesn't make me swoon the way it once may have. Men far worse and far better than you have tried to court me." She was being harsh, but she had a hard time trusting most men.

Cullen sat down in a chair that leaned against the wall. "You are forgiven. I had no secret agenda with my compliment, it was simply that. However, that does make one assume you have fascinating stories to tell."

She couldn't help but smile at the man's persistence. "I have many stories, though I suppose some wouldn't categorize them as fascinating, but more so intense and devastating." She looked out the window at the night's sky. "Is this not inappropriate for a templar to be in a woman's quarters with no supervision?"

"I am no longer a templar. I gave the order up to become part of the Inquisition." He stretched and put his arms behind his head. "I am surprised to find how simple and easy it is to talk with a woman such as yourself."

Arianna looked at Cullen seductively. "Such as myself? What could you mean by that? Do I come across as a heartless rogue whose only desire is to kill?"

The commander let out a loud laugh. "No, I wouldn't say that. You come across as a woman who has seen far too much evil and pain in this world." He scooted the chair closer to her bed and she flinched. "I apologize, I will not harm you in any way, my lady."

She frowned to herself; she shouldn't have shown that moment of weakness. "Of course, Commander. However, I must say, I am awfully tired. I hope you don't mind."

He smiled at her before nodding his head. "I understand. Goodnight … Arianna, was it?"

Without speaking, she nodded her head to his question and smiled to herself after he left.

~o0o~

Arianna went down to the main hall. There were tons of people shouting and complaining. She looked past them to see Mark sitting in a throne at the head of the room. "Leave it to him to have a throne."

"Pardon me, my lady?" Leliana suddenly whispered into her ear.

Arianna jumped. "Forgive me, I really don't like people sneaking up on me like that."

Leliana weaved in front of the girl. "Of course, I can see that. Sneaking is my specialty." She let out a giggle and then grabbed Arianna's hand. "I thought I heard you say something about the Inquisitor."

Arianna knew that the bard was fishing for information. "Oh, just that I like his throne. It suits him well." If Leliana wanted to play, Arianna would play along. "And if I might be so bold, it was always my impression that your specialty was secrets."

"Secrets are more of a hobby of mine. They benefit the Inquisition quite well. They also make for personal entertainment." She twirled a strand of Arianna's hair. "Like a former templar sneaking into someone's quarters last night."

Arianna gasped in fake horror. "How scandalous! Maker forbid they could have been only speaking to one another." She walked past Leliana. "I appreciate what you do, but there is no reason for you to be prying into my life."

Mark was attempting to calm down the angry people with the help of Josephine. They were upset about the rifts. Why hadn't they told the people there was a way to solve everything. Arianna chuckled. Mark always did get flustered so easily.

Mark heard her laugh so clearly as he looked down at Arianna. She looked so beautiful even though she was in such plain clothes. He was still in partial disbelief that she was back. Pain shot through his heart. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was that he couldn't be with her. Then, he thought back to Harriett's words from the night before. She didn't want him to choose her just because he felt like he should. How could he make that decision?

Arianna looked up and their eyes met for a moment before she shook her head, turned around, and walked away. What was that about? He wanted to chase after her and ask.

On her way out, Arianna ran into someone. She was a shorter girl with a more faded red color to her hair.

"Karla? It's really you," The girl said.

Arianna's eyes widened as she pulled the girl into another room and slammed her against the wall. "How do you know who I am?"

The girl looked frightened as she looked into Arianna's eyes. "It's me, Harriett. Mark told me you were back."

Arianna took another look at Harriett, and then something dawned on her. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me."


	5. Chapter 5: I Don't Love You Anymore

Harriett gave her a confused look. "What do you mean?" She suddenly felt uneasy.

Arianna rolled her eyes and paced around the room. "I would have never guessed." She looked out to main hall, remembering Mark sitting there. "He would always be so flirtatious with you, and it would frustrate me so much." She paused, "And you! You were the worst, always trying to hang on him or sit on his lap. All of those years that him and I were together, you secretly wanted him, and now you have him."

Harriett gulped and backed herself up against the wall. "I never meant any harm to your relationship. That's just how I am. I never wanted the two of you to break up, I promise you that much."

"None of it matters now anyways." She remembered Mark stopping himself before he kissed her. He had told her there was someone else. Even though it nearly broke her heart again to claim that she was ok with it, she couldn't help but be glad that he was happy and that he had moved on. "Both him and I are two very different people now. I wouldn't be with him even if I wanted to." She did want to, but she wouldn't dare reveal her feelings.

Harriett saw right through Arianna's weak attempts. "I know that you still love him, and I know that he still loves you. You can't tell me you don't want to be with him. I can see it in your eyes." She was deathly afraid that Mark would realize this and decide to be with Arianna instead of herself.

Arianna chuckled sadly. "That's where you're wrong." She stepped away from Harriett and picked up a child's toy nearby. "I do love him; I will always love him, but I am not the same girl that he fell in love with, and almost all trace of that charming boy I loved has disappeared." She sat down in an office chair behind a desk. "I no longer desire to be by his side as I once did. I have seen more evil and devastation than you can imagine. Keeping people close to you is never a good idea."

"That sounds like a lonely life to live," Harriett said as she stared at the other woman. Arianna really had grown up.

Her hair was still long, and her facial features stayed the same, but her eyes were colder and she looked much more mature. Her body was much more muscular compared to her chubbiness that she had as a young teenager. She was in better shape than Harriett was now. As much as Harriett hated to admit it, but her old rival was indeed quite beautiful.

Arianna was done talking; without saying another word, she walked out of the separated room and back into the main hall. She could see Mark walking towards the room, wanting to see if Harriett was still alive, no doubt. She turned her sight away from him and kept walking towards the exit. She needed some air.

"Arianna, wait! Please!" Mark's voice rang out over everyone else's.

She couldn't stop herself; she had no control. She took off into a sprint. There wasn't one part of her that wanted to see his face. She weaved around people easily as they stood in the way, gaping at her. "Where are you going, smiley?" She heard Varric call out. Did he call her smiley?

She continued to run through the exit of Skyhold. It had felt so good to get out of that castle. She enjoyed the fresh air and the sight of the trees. She could see the animals running around and chasing one another. She could hear a water fall clashing on some rocks to her left. She could practically smell the green of the trees. She stopped running as she came across the edge of a tall cliff, and admired the beautiful silence.

"Did you really think I would give up?" a familiar voice filled her ears.

She glared out at the sky before she turned around to look at Mark. "Wow, you're persistence has not wavered at all in the last two years. Good for you."

He leaned against a tree and smiled. "I haven't completely changed. I saw you talking to Harriett; I was going to tell you -"

She held up her hand to stop him. "No, you weren't. You knew that I would figure out eventually, and you had that exact line planned in your head." She took a step towards him. "I don't care that you are seeing her, Mark. I really don't. I understand you had to move on, and I am so glad that you are happy."

For some reason, her saying these things didn't make him feel any better. "You have to know that I still care about you so much." He took a step towards her. "I know that it hurt you when I didn't kiss you last night. I didn't feel it was right. I wanted to kiss you so badly, it killed me."

Arianna scoffed at his words. "Why are you telling me this? What are you hoping to gain? Some resolution in this mixed up, confusing situation we just entered ourselves in?" She took another step towards him. "You are with someone else, and I am perfectly happy by myself." She took another step, leaving herself only a few inches between them. "That is your resolution."

As she started to turn away from him, Mark grabbed her by the shoulders. "You think it is that easy? I thought you were dead! I watched you get taken away, screaming for my help, and I could do nothing! I was miserable for a long time until I became the leader of the Inquisition." He gently put his hand on the side of her face. "I never wanted any of this. Two years ago, my plan was to follow you anywhere, because I didn't want to live without you, and that life got ripped away from me! What was I supposed to do?!"

Once again, she lost complete control. She shoved him with her entire strength. "Not give up! You made a promise to find me, but you didn't even look did you?! There was no word of you at any point from anyone. That's why I thought you were dead! You were supposed to find a way to save me!" She ignored the surprised look on his face. "But instead you laid there in your own self pity, hoping I would just come walking back to you saying, 'surprise'!" She shoved him again. "I met a wonderful person where they kept me. He sacrificed his own life to save me because he was in love with me." She shoved him again. "You want to know what the best part of it is? I couldn't love him back because I was too stuck on you!"

She tried to storm away again, but he grabbed her hand and forced her to turn back around. He wasn't going to let her get the last word. "I did look for you! I did all of this, I got into this group, so I could have the resources to save you! There was no trace of you, no matter how hard I looked! So, I thought you were dead after I gave up everything to bring you back to me!" He got deadly close to her. "The fact that you think you are the only one who gave up anything shows how arrogant and pompous you really have become. You think that no one has had your back; from the moment you we started seeing one another, I have been there for you."

She forced herself not to cry. "Well, it's too late now, Mark." She couldn't believe his words; she couldn't believe that he still loved her. It hurt too much. "I don't love you anymore."


	6. Chapter 6: What the Hell

Mark, Iron Bull, Varric, and her were all going out to close a rift in the sky that was a little too close to Skyhold for comfort. Arianna hadn't spoken to Mark once since he walked away from her after she'd told him she no longer loved him. He seemed to be avoiding her no matter where they were.

Many of the people from Skyhold decided to tag along, curious at what Arianna could actually do. Arianna hated all of them. They were judgmental and rude, and would glare at Arianna as if she were some kind of witch. The only person there that made her feel comfortable was the commander. He decided to come with as backup if needed.

"How have you been? I haven't talked to you in a few days," Cullen said to her. They had been walking quite a few feet behind the others. She was giving the Inquisitor his space.

Arianna looked up at him and smiled. "Well, Commander, I would say this hasn't been the best few days that I've had." She looked him up and down. He was quite tall, and he had heavy armor that shaped his body perfectly. He was truly a handsome man. "You are dashing today; the ladies must have swooned as you walked by this morning."

"Oh, how you tease me, my lady." His eyes were bright with laughter. "It is indeed refreshing when I speak with you. Call me Cullen. Commander doesn't sound quite right coming from you."

She feigned shock and put her hand on her chest. "But how could I live with myself if I ignored the formalities of your title, Commander." She started to stagger as she walked with her hand still on her chest. "And what if others heard me call you by your actual name, and the gossip that would arise. Oh, Commander, I can think of these horrors no longer!"

Mark looked back to see why Arianna was yelling, and saw both her and Cullen were laughing hysterically. He instantly filled with jealousy. "We are on a mission, let's not try to alert all of the evil things that we are here." He shook his head to clear the dark thoughts about his advisor.

"A very excellent point, Inquisitor. However, the dozens of villagers that you decided to let follow us would attract much more attention than Arianna and myself, don't you think?"

Mark glared ahead at the trees, refusing to turn around after he heard Arianna let out a small chuckle. "Of course, Cullen, but if you recall, it was you who suggested that bringing the villagers along would be helpful for them, and they could see they were safe."

Cullen fell silent, realizing what the Inquisitor said was true. "Ah, yes. Forgive me, Inquisitor."

Mark smiled to himself. "Certainly. Let's not make a habit of trying to show off to the women who join us, Cullen. It makes everything messy." He was trying to humiliate him. He wanted to show Arianna that what she had said meant nothing to him, but he also wanted to show Cullen that Arianna was not available for him to court.

Cullen bit his lip, and tried not to let his anger reveal itself. "I apologize, my lady. It appears I lost that battle for you." He saw the way Mark looked at her, like he was claiming her for all to see. It was as if they had known each other for many years.

Arianna came to a halt when the mark on her hand began to glow through her glove. She could feel the pull of the rift nearby. She ignored the pain that was shooting though her hand. "No worries, Commander," she said through gritted teeth. "There will be more battles, no doubt." She fell to the ground. "Mark."

She had said his name so quietly, but Mark immediately turned and ran to her side once he heard the pain in her voice. "What is it? Are you hurt?" he asked her kindly.

She ripped of her glove with her teeth and showed him the green light that poured from her hand. "The rift is close," she whispered painfully.

He tilted her head up gently to look at him. "I need you tell me where it is." He hated seeing her in so much pain. "Hey, look at me. I am right here, and I'm not going anywhere. Where is the rift? I'm going to stop the pain for you."

His words seemed so genuine and kind, but she couldn't believe them. She stood up, doing her best to ignore the pain. She slowly took a few steps and then pushed herself into a light jog. The sooner she stopped the rift, the better.

They came across a large, green opening in the sky. "Here it is!" Mark shouted to the group. He pulled out his sword and shield and held them, waiting for the monsters.

The rest of them pulled out their own weapons, and had looks of death on their face; they were ready to kill. Arianna pulled out one of her daggers slowly, he hand shaking as she did so.

It seemed like dozens of demons seemed to pour out the rift at the scent of humans. Green tails connected them to the rift as they landed on the ground. No matter how many of them she'd killed, they still made her feel uneasy. The monsters screamed with a sharp, horrifying noise as one of them dove through a portal in the ground. It was almost as if they were letting out loud, excited cheers.

Her companions weren't paying any attention, but she watched carefully. She knew the creature would show itself soon enough; she'd seen it enough times. "Where are you, you creepy son of a bitch?" she said to the ground. She saw the green portal form around Cullen's feet, and then the demon's arms came out of the ground. "Cullen!"

The commander spun around at the sound of her voice, but it was too late. The demon had shot out of the ground quicker than you would think possible, taking Cullen's feet out from under him. He landed on his back and his armor gave a horrific clatter from the collision. He stared up at the demon looming over him, accepting that he was going to die.

Suddenly, a dagger went straight through the creature's skull. The creature opened its mouth widely and let out a horrendous scream before it disintegrated into thin air. The dagger fell quietly to the gound.

Cullen looked at Arianna who was now walking towards him. "Did you do that?" he asked in a shocked tone.

She chuckled as she grabbed her dagger. "I wasn't going to let you die. I've hardly gotten to know you yet, Commander." She winced from the pain of her hand before she helped Cullen stand up.

He stared into her eyes gratefully. "Thank you, Arianna. I mean it. You saved my life." He grabbed her marked hand and brushed the formation gently. "You are more than this mark; I promise you that much." He waited a moment before letting her hand free, and looked at the others, who were just finishing killing the demons. "There has to be more; there is always more."

Arianna stared at her hand. It had been a long time since someone acted so kindly and gently to her. In a way, it was refreshing, but it was also a little bit unwelcome.

The rift pulsed, ready to send out the next enemy, as if it was dying of excitement. The green tail stretched out to a spot right next to Mark. The orb started forming an enormous creature that towered over them all.

"It's a pride demon!" Bull shouted to everyone. "Now, we can have some real fun." He swung his giant maul around his head and let out a battle cry.

The pride demon slammed its fists down onto the ground, sending Mark and Bull flying through the air. Varric shot a bolt at the demon's back, making it scream in anger. It turned towards Varric and took giant, slow steps. Every time its foot would come down, the world seemed to shake. Mark jumped up and charged at the demon with his sword. He made a long cut through its legs and jumped out of the way when it tried to kick him with its now injured leg. It was enraged now; it let out a terrifying battle scream with a look of pure killing in its eyes. It charged at Bull and Mark, once again knocking them both back. Varric kept shooting, but nothing was working. The creature was set on murdering them. Before Mark and Bull had the chance to get up, the demon raised his arms high above his head, about to smash both of them.

"That's enough!" Arianna yelled to the demon. She positioned her marked hand towards the pride demon and created another, smaller rift above its head. The small rift attached itself to the demon and pulsed. The pride demon couldn't move and with every pulse, he got weaker and weaker until he too disintegrated into thin air.

Mark look at Arianna with a shocked, and very nervous look. "What the hell?"


	7. Chapter 7: Lucky to Have Met You

The people had been celebrating for days, and Arianna was the guest of honor each day. Leliana forced her to wear some fancy dress with a very tight corset that was cutting off her breathing, and her hair was formed into loose ringlets that hung around her head. She did have to admit she looked quite nice. She sat upon the Inquisitor's throne with her head in her hand, lazily watching as the people all danced around in the main hall.

Mark was leaning against the wall as he stared at the happy people. They had been so relieved when they saw Arianna close the rift. It was a very welcome sight to see the first two days; now it was just tiresome. He couldn't seem to keep his eyes from swaying to Arianna sitting in his throne. She had turned down every dance offer and just sat there. It was pleasant for him to see in her in such fancy attire. She had always refused to wear dresses while they were together. He couldn't seem to get her words, "I don't love you anymore," out of his head. He wanted her to move on, but at the same time, it nearly crushed him to think of her with anyone else.

Cullen couldn't stop staring at Arianna; she was so beautiful. It nearly took his breath away when she stepped to the throne. Every time that she would notice him looking at her, she would stick her tongue out and make a childish face at him. She really was the most dazzling woman she'd ever met. He couldn't stop thinking about her, and when she spoke to him, it was as if no one else was near them. He tried to shake these thoughts away; he knew that she would never consider herself more than a friend to him.

Harriett danced her way up to Mark. He had been so cynical lately. "Hello, darling." She gave him a peck on the cheek. "Why don't you come dance? It will relax you, I promise."

Mark glanced over to Arianna, who was now intrigued by Harriett going over to him. "I really am not one for dancing, Harriett, you know that."

She had noticed his look to Arianna and sighed. "Of course." She brushed her fingertips on the side of his face. "I was just hoping I could take your mind off whatever was troubling you." She was trying to cover up the sadness that was forming within her. "I love you, Mark, and I always will."

He truly looked at Harriett now. Here was a woman that loved him for who he was now; that's all he wanted. "I was in a dark place when we first started seeing one another. You brought a little of light into my life, and I will always be grateful and love you for that." He grabbed her hands and squeezed them. "I'm sorry I've been so distant lately. I will do my best to be better about it." He kissed her forehead and gently pushed her back out to the dance floor; she deserved better than him.

Arianna rolled her eyes at their exchange. It was like they were two, little kids who looked at each other with puppy dog eyes. Her eyes moved over to Cullen who had just spilled wine all over himself. There were at least five women who were clawing at his shirt, trying to get him to take it off. She chuckled to herself as she got up to go help him.

"No, please let go of me," Cullen said to them as he tried to spin out their grasp. "I can take care of this myself, ladies, go back to the dancing." He saw Arianna walk towards them, laughing hysterically.

She shoved her way through the swooning women and grabbed Cullen's shirt. "Cullen, oh my! What have you done?! I told you not to wear white while drinking red wine. I told you this would happen!" She could feel his abdominal muscles as she held onto his shirt. She had to clear her throat before speaking again. "How rude of you ladies! All I have done is help you people, and you repay me by trying to hurt my dear Cullen."

The women all stepped away from them. "We apologize, my lady, we weren't aware you and the commander were romantically involved."

Arianna's eyes widened. She hadn't meant for it to come across that way. "Oh, no. We -"

Nearby squealed with excitement. "The mark and the commander are seeing one another!" This announcement caused more people to turn and run towards them.

"Oh, now you've done it," Cullen whispered to her. "Most of these people are Orlesian. They live for gossip." He grabbed her hand as more and more people approached them. "Let's go."

He pulled her alongside him as they through a side door. They kept running as they heard footsteps behind them. Soon, they reached stairs, and ran across the battlements.

Arianna had never been up in this part of Skyhold. It was almost like you could touch the sky, and she could smell the fresh air as Cullen led her into a room. "I had no idea that they would get so excited about that!" She let go of his hand as she looked around the room. There were books and clothes all over the floor with candles slightly illuminating the whole room. "Is this your office?" she asked Cullen.

He shut the door to the battlements and looked at her. "Yes. Well, it's also my bedroom." He noticed her surprised look. "I didn't want a huge bedroom; it didn't feel like me." He searched the shirts that were on his floor and smelled them to see if they were clean.

"Oh, come on." Arianna sighed as she watched him. "Just when I was thinking how perfect you were, you had to do that."

He looked down at the shirt he was holding and gave her a confused look. "What's wrong with this?" He held up the shirt and sniffed it one more time. "I'm making sure it's clean. Why is that bad?"

She rolled her eyes and chuckled at his clueless mind. "You don't know a whole lot about women, do you, Commander?" She sat down on a nearby chair and picked up a book. She wasn't really reading it, but she flipped through the pages. "You are very different than the men I'm used to." She didn't want to look at him as she said this.

He froze. Was she saying this in a good way, or was it an insult? "What do you mean by that, my lady?"

She suddenly threw the book down, and charged at him. "Stop calling me that! I hate it when people call me that! I don't deserve any of that. I have done things that you would think I should die for!" She was trying to hold back her tears. She had done so for so long.

Cullen wrapped his large hands around her shoulders. "I could never think you deserve to die. That's not my place to judge."

Arianna scoffed at his words. "Oh, don't try to be so high and mighty, Commander. We all heard of your hatred for the mages. You thought all of them should die so there would be no risk of abominations."

He knew she was trying to focus her anger on something, and he was willing to be her target. "I was wrong about my hatred for the mages. The Champion of Kirkwall showed me that mages can do great things."

She couldn't hold back the tears any longer. "I have done so much wrong in my life. I don't deserve to be the hero of these people. I shouldn't be. It's like the Maker's sick joke." She tried to hide her face from the man in front of her.

Cullen grabbed her chin and forced her to look up at him. "Tell me what is really bothering you."

She sniffled as she looked up at him with sad eyes. "I thought he was dead all of this time. Mark was supposed to be dead; I had moved on. Well, at least I thought I did. Every time I see him with her, it nearly kills me." She shoved him away from her. "And now, I am starting to develop these feelings for you that I can't have. I can't go through that again. I won't." She collapsed to the floor with sobs breaking out from her chest.

Cullen caught her in his arms and held her. He lightly kissed the top of her head. "I expect nothing from you, Arianna. You have to give me nothing." He brushed her hair out of her tear stained eyes. "My feelings for you are genuine. You are an amazing person; I am so lucky to have met you."


	8. Chapter 8: Anyone but you

Arianna looked up at Cullen. "You should find someone who can give you all of themselves." She buried her head in his chest. "I don't think I could do that for you."

Cullen pulled her closer to his body. "I understand, but I'm willing to give it a shot. I haven't felt this way about someone in a long time." He looked down at the girl that was laying in his lap. She had tried to make herself look so strong for so long. He could see now that she was hiding her pain from the world.

"_**I'm right here, dear. Look at me. Talk to the guy that is right in front of you, that wants to help you." **_She could hear Mark's voice like it was yesterday in the commander's words. _**"I hate to see you like this. I hate seeing you hurt." He kissed her forehead, her cheeks, and then finally her lips. **_

She squeezed her eyes shut. "I am sorry, Commander, but I think I must go." She got up from his lap and wiped her eyes. She never wanted anybody to see her deepest emotions, but now someone had.

"Are you sure, Arianna? I don't mind just sitting here with you and talking." Cullen was trying to reach out to her. He wanted her to stay so badly.

Without saying another word, Arianna gave him one last look before she walked out of his room. She needed to get away from Skyhold. She wanted to run and never look back. She hated it more than anything.

She had been walking for some time, just circling the castle. She stopped by the garden once again and looked through the flowers. They were so beautiful; they didn't belong in the world they were in. They reminded her of her first time she had ever spent the night with a boy.

"_**I can't think of the right phrase for it." Mark said to her. He held up the single rose that they had found before they were consumed by their passion. "Sex seems so meaningless." **_

_**She looked up at him and laughed. "Then, what we could call it then?"**_

_**He rolled on top of her and stared into her eyes. "I would call it making love to the most beautiful woman there is."**_

_**She rolled her eyes at him. "You are incredibly stupid." She reached her head up and gave him a peck on his lips. "You, Mark Enders, are the most amazing person I think I've ever met." **_

"_**And you, Karla Castil, in the last six months of being with you, I have realized how much I could actually love someone, and you have no idea how much that scares me." He pulled her even closer to him and gave her a passionate kiss.**_

"What are you doing out here this late?" Mark's voice rang out.

Arianna had been so lost in thought that she screamed when she heard the voice of someone right behind her. She dropped the rose that she had been fumbling with. "What the hell are you doing?"

Mark smiled and gave her an odd look. "I could ask you the same thing." He walked up beside her and picked up the rose she had dropped and held it out for her, "Here."

She stared at it, trying to shake her memories away from her. "No, I don't want it. I was just looking at it." She turned to walk away from him as he grabbed her by the shoulder to stop her.

"No, stop. No more running from me. I understand that your feelings have changed, and I won't pester you about it." He looked deep into her eyes. "I don't want to be enemies with you. Could we at least try to be friends?"

Arianna could feel the tears coming again. How could she be friends with this man that she still loved so much while he was with someone else. "I suppose. Why not?" Her voice shook as she said that.

He picked up on it so easily. He reached up and caressed her face, but she winced away from it. "What's wrong, dear?"

Her eyes shot up to his and she started to back away. _**"I love you, dear." "Yes, dear." "Of course, dear." **_The memories of him calling her that poured into her mind. "Nothing. I really have to go.

"Wait, Karla, please. I didn't mean to say it; it just slipped out." They had broken up once while they were together and he accidentally called her dear by, habit and she started to bawl her eyes out.

She couldn't show him that she was hurt, so she stopped dead in her tracks and put on the best fake smile that she could. "I am not that girl anymore, _honey_. You can call me that without me getting hurt."

He winced at the pet name she used to call him, and he could hear in her voice the lies she was telling. "Karla, please. You are making this incredibly hard to stay true to my word." He hated how hurt and sad she was, but she had told him that she didn't love him anymore. So, what was it that she was so sad about?

"Making it hard for you? How so?" She combed through her hair with her hand and rolled her eyes.

"Every time that I hear sadness in your voice, I want to kiss you and tell you that it will be alright." He sat down on a nearby log and sighed. "This is killing me. I see flickers of that girl that I once knew, and in those moments, I want nothing more than to hold you in my arms. And then you tell me that you don't love me anymore, and, sweet Andraste, I swear I almost died right there."

She sat next to him on the log and rested her head on his shoulder. "Our lives really turned out differently than we thought they would." She laughed at the awkwardness they were in right now. "It used to be so simple to be around you and to laugh with you. Now, I don't know whether to hate you or shake your hand."

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "If I was a different man, I would have kissed you that very moment that I found you in the woods. If I was a better man, I would have walked away when I saw you looking at the rose."

"Why didn't you walk away, Inquisitor?" she asked plainly.

He thought for a moment. "I couldn't help but look at that rose and think about our first night together. You were my first, and I remember being so nervous. Afterwards, I was the happiest guy."

She tilted her head to look at his face. "It almost seems like a dream now." As much as she wanted to stay in his arms, she stood up. "You should get back to Harriett. I would be honored to have you as a friend, Inquisitor."

He got extremely close to her, he could hear her pause in breathing. "Anyone else may call me that, but it doesn't sound right coming from you." He brought his face down closet to hers and he could feel her heartbeat. His lips were so close to hers; he had to do it.

As soon as he moved his lips toward her, she pushed her forehead against his and squeezed her eyes shut. Her hands had made their way behind his neck. "You should, um." She tried to shake her thoughts away. "You should really go now." She gently pushed him away.


	9. Chapter 9: The Invitation

She had finally gotten away from almost everyone. The last few days Arianna had been dodging Cullen and Mark; she didn't know what to say to either of them. Leliana finally gave her permission to leave Skyhold for the day after assuring Arianna that she would be able to find her no matter where she went. She had taken her bow and a couple of daggers. She wanted to hunt; it had been so long. It was only her with the company of the Iron Bull.

"Can't we kill something bigger? These small animals are boring me." Bull held up a small rodent that he had smashed in the head. "You can't even eat this thing." He threw it to the side.

Arianna smiled. She found Bull's sarcastic tone very endearing. "Sure, why not? Let's go take down a dragon, just the two of us." She shot an arrow into a wolf's heart that was approaching them. She went to go look at it. It had cold, black eyes and blood dripping out of it's mouth. "Friendly looking creature, don't you think?"

Bull walked past her as he wondered something. "So, why did you choose me to come with you? I would have thought you'd pick Cullen." He swung his maul around his back to hang it on its holster. "You two seem to be pretty friendly. Well, maybe not the last few days."

"I've been avoiding people. I don't need anyone developing any sort of feelings for me; it's just bad news," she said to him. She thought of how close her and Mark had gotten, how they had almost kissed. Then, she thought of Cullen holding her in his arms and she sighed. "Now things are just complicated." She looked at the giant qunari. "What about you?"

Bull laughed at the opportunity that he'd just gotten. "Well, I don't know that I would say you're relationship worthy, but I'd give you a good railing."

She stopped dead in her tracks in confusion. "What?!"

"Usually with those servant girls, I let them bounce on top of me and let them feel in control for once." He looked her up and down, examining her body. "You on the other hand, would need a good, hard rail to loosen you up. Though, I bet you would be pretty good on top."

"I, um …" She could not believe what she was hearing. Did people really talk like that? "I would have to kindly decline that offer."

Bull scoffed at her words. "Where is that spark from the first day I met you? You had so much sass." He picked up a twig and poked her with it in the arm.

"Ow. Hey, what was that for?" She held her arm with her other hand and looked at the little bit blood that had been drawn.

"You are acting like a little girl. You were so much different when I first saw you." He poked her again and again and again. "Get angry, little girl."

She grabbed the twig and threw it as far as she could. "Call me 'little girl' one more time," she said, daring him to do it.

Bull smiled at her as he dropped his maul to the ground and got in a fighting stance. "None of your creepy magic. I will give you a head start and let you use your daggers. Does that sound good to you, little girl?"

She charged at him without even thinking. He swung his hands out to stop her, but she was much faster than he was. She moved around his arms and used his monstrous thighs to climb on his back and sit on his shoulders. "Say you're sorry." When he refused, she pulled on his horns.

"Hey, those are very sensitive and get hurt easily."

She pulled on them again. "Say it, and I will stop."

"Fine, fine. I'm sorry that I called you a little girl." He grabbed her and practically threw her off of him. "You humans are always going for the cheap shot."

She gave an honest smile, something she hadn't done for a few days. "And you Qunari still never expect it."

Arianna and Bull had returned, and immediately she was summoned to the war room. As she got in there, she saw Josephine, Leliana, Cullen, and Mark. Arianna took a deep breath as she stepped further into the room. "How can I be of service."

Cullen gave her an adorable, innocent smile. "We needed you input. You are an important part of the Inquisition now." He motioned to the giant map of Orlais and Ferelden that was on the table.

"We need to know if we should side with the templars or mages. Each can give us benefits, but we are trying to decide which would cause us less casualties in the long run," Mark said as he walked to Leliana's side.

Leliana interjected, "Of course your opinion is very important, but do understand that your opinion will not be our final decision."

Arianna raised her eyebrows and thought for a moment. "Mages are unpredictable; there have been enough incidents to make that clear, but they are powerful. They would give us a boost on damage, but they might cause more issues for us whereas the templars most likely wouldn't."

The others looked at each other and nodded. "Ok, thank you," Leliana said. "You are all dismissed. Josephine and I will consult with one another."

"Why am I not in on this? I am an advisor as well." Cullen was offended. He had just as many good ideas as them.

Leliana smirked at him and raised her moved her eyes towards Arianna. "I imagine you have other things on your mind, Cullen."

He took that as an opening and chased after Arianna who was walking near Mark. "Arianna, I have a question for you." She turned to look at him and he tried to regain his thoughts. "Would you possibly want to have dinner with me tonight?"

Mark stopped and turned around to see her reaction. "That was a pretty bold move, Cullen. I've never seen you ask to take a girl out."

Arianna looked between the two of them. _**"You have to give me nothing." **_She remembered Cullen's words. "Yes, I would love to go to dinner with you, but it's not anything special. I'm doing as a friend."

Cullen nodded and smiled. "I understand. That's all that I want from you."


	10. Chapter 10: Thank You For This

Mark was sitting in his quarters with Harriett right beside him. She was reading one of Varric's new novels, and he writing in his journal. The journal was something he had picked up on once Arianna was taken. She was always writing, and it made him feel like she was still there.

"What are you writing about, darling?" Harriett asked him as she curled up to him. "I'm always so curious what you put in that damn journal. It must have all of your deepest, darkest secrets."

He closed the journal and looked at her. "Indeed it does, but you will never be able to look in them." They were far too personal for anyone else to see. He now understood why Arianna refused to let him read hers.

"I know, you've told me." She brushed her fingers in a circle formation on his bicep. "You are so different than you used to be. You are even more closed off than you were a few years ago, and I haven't seen you laugh in such a long time." She missed the man he used to be more than anything. He would laugh at everything would have the happiest looks on his face. However, those were the days he was with Karla.

He grabbed her hand and kissed it. "I know that it troubles you, sweetheart, but I can't change it. This is who I am."

She paused when he called her sweetheart, and she suddenly thought of something. "Honey and dear," she said to him.

"What?" He no idea what she was talking about.

She put her finger to his mouth to shush him. "Ever since we started seeing one another, you've never called me honey dear, and when I've tried to call you honey, you told me that I couldn't call you that." Now, it seemed clear. "Why is that?"

He was shocked that she had noticed that. "They are too overused. I don't like the sound of them." He was lying.

"No, when I called you honey that one time, you had a look of pain on your face. It hurts you, doesn't it?" She was starting to get frustrated.

He put his hands on her shoulders to calm her. "Harriett, you sound ridiculous. Why would those words hurt me?"

"I will prove it." She got off the bed and looked at him. "Come here, honey."

He couldn't help but wince at the name. All he could hear was Karla's voice while they were together. _**"Honey, are you listening to me?" "I know, honey, but you have to do it." "I'm fine, honey."**_

"See, now I know it to be true. They truly bother you." Harriett grabbed his hands and pulled him off the bed. "They remind you of her, don't they?" When he didn't respond, she hugged him closely. "It's alright, I understand. I know that you love her, and that it's not something that just goes away. I am willing to step to the side if you would like, if you truly want to be with her, but I love you and I am willing to work through whatever we need to work through."

He pressed his hand on the side of her face. "You are truly remarkable." He kissed her passionately. "I do still care for her, but I don't want to be in a relationship with her. We aren't compatible anymore."

Cullen had cleaned his entire quarters to make room for the small, dining table that was sitting in the middle of it. He had put two, long candles on the white tablecloth next to the two meals as he waited for Arianna. He had on a white, long-sleeved shirt and dark pants. He sat down on his couch and tried to calm his nervousness.

"Calm down, Cullen, you have faced dozens of maleficarum and you are getting nervous at a girl," he said to himself. There were knocks on his door just as he was about to relax and shook in nervousness.

"Commander," the woman sang out. "I am waiting, Commander. You won't let a poor girl freeze out here, would you?" She feigned complete innocence as she opened the door. "Sorry, you took too long, and I didn't want to wait out there.

Cullen was stunned once his eyes fell upon her. She was wearing a scarlet dress that had thin straps which covered her back. The hem of it gently touched the floor. It was tight around her bosom, but loose around her hips. "Oh, um -"

"Cat got your tongue, Commander?" She stepped around him and looked at the small table. "What is this?"

He suddenly felt nauseas. "Um, I thought that I would make you dinner, and we could just be alone, and talk? Was it a stupid idea? It was, wasn't it? Let's just go out to eat." He grabbed his coat and walked towards the door with bright red cheeks.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him back. "Commander, I love it. I was just surprised. No man has ever made me dinner like this." She smiled at him as she sat down at the table. "Is this druffalo meet?" She asked as she picked at it.

"Yes, is that ok?" He was so nervous that she would just walk out.

She laughed at him. "Of course it's ok. I was asking out of curiosity, you strange man." She looked into his eyes. "I've never seen a man get so nervous around me before." She took a bite of her meal and smiled at him. "Don't be nervous, we've talked many times before. This should be just as easy."

They ate in silence until they were finished eating, and Cullen looked at her. "I'm sorry that this hasn't been much fun. I'm letting my fear get the best of me. I haven't really done this before."

She laughed in disbelief. "You've never been out with a woman before?" She got up from the chair and moved over to the couch. "I find that very hard to believe, Commander." She looked him up and down as he stood up. "You are quite a dashing man, and no woman has had the pleasure of dining with you as I have?"

He shook his head as he sat next to her. "I was a templar for a very long time, and before that I was in the chantry in preparation to be a templar. It wasn't until recently that I stopped being one. It was frowned upon to flirt with the girls or start to see one of them as more than a friend." He thought back to his time at the circle. "Many mages would try to sleep with the templars in order to get things or to ensure protection, but I never accepted any of those offers."

Arianna looked at him in shock. "Why did you not accept them?"

"I've always wanted it to be with someone I care about. I want it to be special and not some meaningless encounter that I would never bring up again. I want it to be with a woman that will let me hold her afterwards and lets me shower her in kisses. I want it to be with a woman who I completely enjoy." He hadn't even noticed that she'd grabbed his hand and had been twirling it.

She gave him a sad smile. "That's how I always wanted it to be too. When I did it, I thought that I would be with that boy forever, and it didn't turn out quite the way I thought it would." She scooted closer to him. "You are a man that I find very foreign. You are so pure and kind and gentle. You have such a fear of saying the wrong thing to me that you would rather just not talk at all. I have never met someone like you, Commander." She leaned her head on his shoulder.

He couldn't believe how beautiful she was. She was stunning. He leaned down and kissed her on her forehead.

She looked up at him with confusion and then she pressed her lips gently against his. Once she pulled away, she smiled and said, "Thank you for this, Commander."


	11. Chapter 11: Promise Me

It had been a few weeks since Arianna's date with Cullen. They had been spending time together every night after she went out to close the rifts with Mark. It hadn't seemed to be getting any better; more just kept coming, and now there was word that some "Elder One" was going to show up. She had been going to Cullen to take her mind off things.

"It is just so aggravating! Everyone is thinking that I'm some kind of savior, but now, they are disappointed because I haven't completely stopped the breach yet!" She was pacing around his room. They had gotten much more comfortable with one another since their dinner.

Cullen laughed at her fretting as he poured some tea into a cup. "Will you just sit down? You are making me so nervous with your pacing." He sat down on his couch and looked at the dimly lit bedroom. "I made you tea, so just relax."

She couldn't pay any attention to what he was saying. "What if I just run away? Or fake my own death? Then, no one could expect anything from me."

"Yes, do tell the advisor of this Inquisition more about how you are going to leave us all to fend for ourselves," he said sarcastically. He kicked his legs up on the couch and set her tea in his lap. "Come sit down, Arianna."

She looked over in his direction and sighed. "Fine, but I'm not happy about it." She walked to the couch and laid on top of Cullen. She rested her head on top of his chest after he moved her tea to the floor. "I'm just really nervous about how this is all going to go."

He stroked her hair and smiled. "You are doing amazingly! Don't let those people scare you." He reached down with his head and kissed her forehead. He had been so much happier since they started to see one another. She was his favorite part of the day. "How about we go to bed?" He pulled her up so that her face was align with his and kissed her on the lips. Then, he started to kiss her neck and her collarbone.

She gasped as his hand moved between her legs. In response, she moved her hand in between his.

They had only spent the night together a few times now. Cullen was so sure that she was the one for him and that he was completely in love with her. She, on the other hand, wasn't so sure on her feelings. She cared about the man, she knew that to be true, but she wasn't sure that she was in love with him.

"You have absolutely no clue what you are even talking about!" Mark screamed at Arianna as the other advisors sat, watching them carefully.

"_I _have no idea?! _Me_?!" She threw one of the pawn from the world map at him. "You need to venture outside of Ferelden to get anywhere in this war! Orlais is being torn apart!"

He stormed up to her. "I have been doing this much longer than you, _sweetheart_," he nearly spat the word. "And you follow my orders; you do what I say. Do I make myself clear?"

"Ugh!" she muttered in disgust. "You haven't changed one fucking bit! You were always trying to get me to do what you say!"

Josephine sighed towards Cullen and Leliana. "Well, I think it's safe to confirm that they have indeed met before the Inquisition." She gave a glance towards Cullen, wondering if he knew.

Mark put his hands on his head. "What?!" he screamed. "_I _haven't changed?! You are the same stubborn woman who refuses to see any side but her own. Looks like I failed in trying to fix that about you!"

"Yeah, and it seems I failed to fix a lot of things about you!" She flicked him in the forehead. He had always hated that when they were together. "You are blind! We need Orlais or we will lose this war; I promise you that much." She stormed out of the room; she couldn't take it anymore.

Cullen got up to go after her, but Mark put up his hand to stop him. "No, this was my fault. I will go fix it."

With hesitation, Cullen sat back down in his chair. He didn't like the idea of Mark going to comfort Arianna.

Mark walked out to the door to find Arianna sitting against the wall with her head in her hands. "I am sorry, Karla. I try to not let my anger get the best of me."

Arianna looked up at him. Her eyes were watering, but she refused to let tears come from them. "I don't want to hear your apologies, Mark. I stopped wanting to hear them before I got taken away."

This confused him. "What are you saying?" he asked her.

"I was madly in love with you, but it's no secret that you didn't feel as strongly about me. Every time that you would leave to go spend time with some other girl, it killed me inside." She could remember those days so vividly.

Mark looked at her like she was crazy. "Spend time with them? They were my friends, Karla. Nothing more. I only ever loved you and I never touched any of them, you know that."

She chuckled sadly. "I know, but that didn't stop them from trying, and you didn't have to go to them. I was always there; I always wanted to be with you. I know that it sounds selfish, but I wanted you to want me as much as I wanted you." She looked back into her memories. "Or that time that you said you would end things with me if someone offered you ten million sovereigns whereas I would have turned them down. That crushed me for days. Or when you would completely disregard my feelings and do whatever the fuckyou wanted to do."

Mark remembered these times that she spoke of and they brought him pain. "I loved you more than I could even understand. I am sorry if I ever made you feel like I didn't love you." He sat down against the wall across from her. "You were absolutely everything to me, but I couldn't admit it to myself. I was terrified of you." He looked at her beautiful face. "I had so many struggles with it in our years together. You know it was so hard for me to open up to you."

She stood up and stretched her arms. "I know, honey. I'm just trying to blame you for how I am when the fault is only mine." She started to walk away before she turned back towards him. "Promise me that you will consider aiding Orlais as well."

Mark frowned. He knew that she still bound him to his promises. That was always her big thing. He was never allowed to break a promise because she never broke promises. "I promise, Karla."

She held up her finger. "That's not my name anymore, not even to you."


End file.
